What is reality? Is it subject to perception or is it some for us all? I believe that up to a certain point there are well defined boundaries and rules and so there is a reality, but if you are going to a realm where you withdraw your mind from object, and world around you dissolves, still I would say that even though your world is created within but the reality outside still prevails which is greater than you or me or our perceptions.
So why is this reality different to us all? As Osho puts it, we all are like filters to absorb whatever suits to our experience and neglect or overlook or perhaps distort whatever does not! So in the truth we never listen because the voice in the mind is always active, its critical facilities are always at alert to guide and govern whatever is going in- whatever we hear is our version of what we wish to hear or subject to our ego critical facility of what is useful, what confirms to our hidden assumptions and past experience and also our future dreams, and we all are utterly incapable to understand that what we have no experience or knowledge about, and ego creates a problem further as its critical facilities get increased with age and experience and haves us believe nothing is or should be there what we don’t know. Like Osho puts it, he says look at an old man; it is like a cup full past experiences. The man carries the burden of them and thinks he has something valuable, but what is that of value if it cannot allow you to be free, to be in the present. And in turn what he actually has is a pile of garbage. This is like a situation with most of the people at old age and up to certain extent with everyone.
If we look at relationships, it is very interesting to note why the break up, reason is as simple as it gets- distortion! Both the parties believe that they fully understand the other, but do they actually understand the other? or have created a false image projected out of the unconscious, the image with which they want to live, the image that got constructed during the dreaming everyday of future where the focus should have been the insight into the present. And how it ends up is also very ironical, they believe they have a mountain of a relationship where there is a pile of sand, and it breaks with the slightest of force. My friend was telling me the other day how she and her husband got together, My friend has always been a person who is never satisfied with the surface world! She said that when she used to communicate over long distance, she use to take care to talk about things that make her confirm what is the true identity of the person who she is talking, questions like- why did you do this? Is it part of your belief system, how are you going to proceed and why? This all was to gain insight into the present so she doesn’t get carried away with the illusion of a false reality. A false reality in which most o the relationships today are in- the reality where idle talk and ‘I love you’s’ are more important than understanding the present and confirming the truth in it by insight and understanding. This false reality is a result of our insecurity, in which we want to live in a dream, a comfortable dream with putting any efforts to understand the ‘reality’ which eludes us.
You believe me or not, this is actually the only reason why any kind of relationship- brother-sister, mother-son etc are not working as we are all living in distortion, living in the expectation and an imagination of what the other person is or should be whereas that is not the truth or reality! Understanding and insight can get us out of this mess as when we will look deep, the assumptions will become clear and we will know how to deal in the real situation, the person as he truly is. But this is actually not as easy as it looks, to understand it requires you to go beyond your subconscious judgments and the voice that is always governing you. That voice, that filter can only break when you stop hearing and start listening to all that is in its absolute without judgments. There are various methods to increase the voice and may methods to decrease it and slowly bring it to nothing, but we all dare not even look at them, because we are comfortable in the world of distortion, a world of imagination even if it is only imaginary.